Remember When
by holyheartbreak
Summary: When memories are erased, lives are broken. Lily Evans dreams of a ravenheaded boy she doesn't remember, and the boy of her dreams longs for a girl he can't have. [AU, Cowritten]
1. Prologue

**Remember When**

**By: holyheartbreak (Judy) and DoubleDoubleToilAndTrouble (Kimberly)**

**PG – Just to be safe**

**Disclaimer : If you know it, it's not ours.  
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**A/N: This story is going to be co-written by me and Kimberly, and this chapter (prologue) is mine!**

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"_James!" A four-year-old Lily Evans giggled, "Come on silly, or we'll miss it!" The red-headed child darted through the trees with her friend on her heels._

"_I'm not even running that slow Lil, just don't go so fast!" The raven headed Potter replied._

_James Potter, who was five, and Lily Evans were best friends. Even at such a young age, their friendship was everything. Their parents couldn't have been happier. It was a stroke of luck that they were next-door-neighbors, and an even better stroke of luck that Lily's parents were so open to the fact that the Potters were of the magical sort. _

"_James!" Lily shrieked, her wine-red curls bouncing._

"_I'm coming Red, I'm right behind you!"_

_The two friends were darting through the trees, hoping to make it to their special place just in time for the sunset. Their special place, "Waterpoint" as they liked to call it, was a slow and steady creek in a clearing in the woods behind Lily's house. The creek had a small waterfall and the clearest water you could ever imagine. After the clearing, there was a thinning out of the trees facing the west, and it was the best place to catch the sunset._

"_Beat you!" Lily cried, as she jumped onto the big rock that sat beside the creek._

"_Only because you ran so fast." James panted._

_Lily giggled. "What are you gonna do Jamie, when some boys wanna race ya and you can't keep up?"_

_James grinned, "I'll let you run for me."_

_**Three Years Later **  
_

"_You're lying," An eight-year-old James spoke, his voice deadpanned._

_Rebecca Potter shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry James, but they're moving."_

_James put his hands over his ears and closed his eyes as tightly as he could. "I won't hear anymore of it Mum. It's not true! Lily is going to stay here, and we'll go to Hogwarts together, and you can't stop that!"_

"_James," his mother said, her voice almost desperate._

"_No!" he cried._

_Rebecca pried James's hands from his ears. "I know you probably don't want to hear this son, but listen to me. I'm your mother, I know what I'm talking about." After Rebecca felt James relax a bit, she went on._

"_I know you'll miss Lily, but Surrey isn't too far away, and we can't always take you to visit. And James, Lily grew up near magic, being here a lot and all, so I am almost positive that she will receive her letter wherever she may be. You know of her specialness, the power she has that many others don't. That's magic."_

_James nodded his head and buried himself in his mother's arms. _

**_Weeks Later_**

"_James?" A meek voice spoke from behind. James turned to see Lily standing there, her curls pulled back into a ponytail, a backpack snug on her shoulders._

"_We're leaving soon," Lily said quietly, her bright, emerald eyes shining with tears. The summer sun reflected off of them, making them even brighter and shinier than ever thought possible._

_James stared into those eyes. Some of his first memories were of them. Really Lily, but as for the memories, it's just those eyes._

_Lily's eyes held so much in them. So much emotion. Even at his young, ripe age of eight, he knew she was something special. Was it her sensations of deja vu, or was it her early signs of wandless magic? Or maybe it was her incredible ability to dance._

_James loved watching Lily dance. She started when she was only 3, and she held so much promise. James's mind wandered as he remembered watching Lily dance in the dance room her parents had built for her in their house._

"_Say something," Lily whispered. A single tear rolled down her porcelain skin._

_James shook his head back into reality and took a step forward, "I'll miss you Red." he said quietly._

_Lily let out a sob and threw herself at James, holding onto him as tightly as she could. He hugged her back and she burst into tears. _

"_Don't ever forget me," Lily whispered fiercely. "And I'll never forget you."_

"_Never?"_

"_Never," she confirmed. "I'll come back to you Jamie, I swear it."_

_**A Year and a Half Later **  
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_Nine year old James was sitting on his bed when he heard a knock at the door._

"_James, can I come in?" his mother asked._

"_Sure Mum!" James called. When his mother entered the room, he noted that her eyes were red and puffy... from crying, perhaps? But why?_

"_What's wrong Mum?" he asked, he voice full of worry._

_Rebecca Potter sniffled and handed her son the piece of parchment that would burn a hole in his heart. "This came in today... from the Evans."_

_James's hazel eyes lit up, "Lily?" he questioned excitedly._

_His mother shook her head, "Not Lily."_

_Puzzled, James read the letter:_

Becky, Harold, and James:

Terrible news. There was an awful accident. Lily was involved. Lost much of her memory. Got most of it back – not all. She doesn't remember you. No pictures bring it back.

The doctor says there's a slim to none chance of it coming back.

We'll keep you posted.

Love,

The Evans

"_She's gone?" James spoke, his voice far away and very distant._

_Rebecca shook her head vigorously, "Not gone James. Just... forgotten. She's forgotten us."_

_James said nothing. He simply stared at the letter, digesting its words. His mother took her cue to leave, but just as she was walking out the door, she heard his words._

"_She broke her promise, and now I've lost her. But she'll come back to be Mum, I know she will. Just like she said."

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_**A/N 2: I'm (we're) going to be needed a beta for this, anyone interested?**_


	2. Of Goodbye Kisses and Making Friends

**Remember When**

**A/N: Kimberly wrote this chapter! Yay fun. She writes such longness compared to my shortness. And by the way, I was totally thrilled with all the reviews guys. Thanks for them! And another thing: I never picked out a beta. I was hoping for a couple more offers. Anyone else?

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**Chapter One – Of Goodbye Kisses and Making Friends**

"Give me a kiss, James," ordered his mother, smothering him in kisses. Not only that, but James's oxygen was now drawing to a close - he could barely breathe; his mother was hugging him _that _tightly - James decided he'd probably not even make the train if this act continued. "Please, sweetie? I won't see you for a long time?"

"It's not like I'm dying, Mum," grumbled James, wiping the lipstick stains from his cheek. "Gross!" he mumbled, looking at the smeared lipstick on his hand. Thankfully, his mother didn't heard. "I'll be back. Soon. Oh, and I'll write if that makes you feel better."

"I know you'll write. You're such a good boy and…" his mother kept on babbling. He eventually tuned her out, hoping that she'd get the point.

Now the boy really did love his mother, but there was just one problem: embarrassment. James could get so embarrassed that his cheeks would turn the same color as the sun. And the only person who really made him get embarrassed was his mother. His father - a different story - always loved his son and tried not to humiliate him.

"Honey, you need to let the boy go," piped up his father. "He's got a train to catch. Right, son?"

James sent a thankful look to his father. "Right. Well, I'll see you at Christmas time. Mum, Dad. I promise I'll write."

Just as his mother was about to pull him into another hug, he ran off - or more like skipping.

His mother sighed. "Darling, do you think he'll be okay?"

"Who? James?"

"No, our other son," she replied, sarcastically. Stomping her foot a little, she said, "Of course James, dear. Who else?"

"I think he'll be fine. He'll meet friends and play sports, and I bet he'll even find - "

"No, I mean Lily. Do you think we should've told him? He's tried to forget about her, but sometimes, I can just see his face - probably thinking about her. He really loves her, and when he goes to Hogwarts and sees her, all those emotions will come crawling back to him, and she won't even know who he is."

"I think we made the right decision."

Her mother sighed, dabbing her tears with a hanky. "I hope you're right."

With a bag slung over his shoulder and a nervous expression on his face, he searched for a compartment. So far, he hadn't been lucky; all of the compartments were full. But when he found an empty compartment, he let out a relieved sigh.

Entering the compartment, he soon figured out that the compartment wasn't empty; there was actually one person in it, sleeping. He couldn't really see the person, considering that his jacket covered up his face and part of his body, but he could tell that the person was really sick (there were hankies all over the ground, and the person started shivering).

"Excuse me," asked the boy, tapping the unknown stranger on the back. "_Excuse me!_"

The body jumped up at least five feet in the air - well, that's what James thought. Frightened, the nervous boy pulled the jacket over his head and started shivering, again.

"Are you okay?"

A head popped out of the jacket, revealing the person's facial features. The boy had sandy brown hair and a pale complexion. His nose was red - _he looked like Rudolph_, thought James. His eyes, though, expressed everything: worry, nervousness and a bit of calmness for some odd reason.

"Are you okay?" James asked, again.

The boy's eyes went wide, and James could've sworn he looked like a turtle. The boy opened his mouth, then shut it. He looked like a gaping goldfish with no water.

"If you keep on doing that then I might mistake you for a goldfish, or a turtle - possibly," joked James, lightheartedly.

"I'm sorry," apologized the boy, face downcast. "I'm usually not like this - sick and all. I'm usually friendly."

"There's no reason to apologize. You're sick. So what? People get sick all the time," explained James. Remembering his manners, he stuck out his hand. "I forgot, I'm James Potter."

The sick boy barely smiled, but enough to let James know he appreciated the simple gesture. "I would shake your hand, but I don't want you to get sick. By the way, I'm Remus Lupin. And usually, I'm not this sick."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Lupin." James glanced at the hankies. "Now tell me again why you're sick? Who gave it to you?"

"Oh, you know - the bug and all. It's going around England," explained Remus, nervously.

"Really?" asked a curious James. "I didn't know that. Has it been in the _Daily Prophet_, because if it was, I surely don't remember seeing it. I'm the _Daily Prophet_'s number one reader, along with my father. We read it every single morning over orange juice and scones."

"Well, you must've not been looking hard enough."

"True."

The train jolted to an abrupt stop, which flung James in an awkward position - hands up in air, legs crossed, lying against the seat. Remus, however, didn't change positions. Still in the same position before, James wondered how he could maintain his stiff position, even with a big jolt that could've even moved an elephant.

"What happened?" asked James.

"I think the train stopped," Remus told him. "Let's get out, considering the train has stopped."

"Good idea."

"I'm Arabella Figg. It's a pleasure to meet you," introduced the girl, putting out a hand to shake.

Lily Evans looked at the girl's hand curiously, and eventually, shook it. "It's nice to meet you Arabella. My name is Lily Evans, but Lily will just do. Or you can call me Lil, or Lils. Either name is fine. Just don't call me Flower; it kind of reminds me of my sister."

Arabella slanted her neck a bit, eyebrows scrunched, pondering while in the process. "Do you like the name Arabella?"

"It's - well, uh - it's a n-nice name, I suppose," stuttered Lily, not knowing what to say.

"I don't like it very much. Actually, now that I think about it, it's a horrid name. Sometimes I wonder why my mother named me Arabella. Why couldn't she think of something bland - like Emma. Emma is a nice name, don't you think?" Scrunching up her shoulders, then letting them loose, she sighed. "It's decided then; from now on, I'll be known as Bella. Just Bella."

"Okay 'Just Bella', where do we go from here?" asked Lily.

"Follow me. I met somebody on the train who could help us. He's really nice," muttered Bella, searching for her victim. "I swear, I just saw him awhile ago. You'll love him, Lily."

A smile leapt to Bella's face. She pointed a finger at a boy with jet black hair and horn-rimmed glasses. To her, he looked faintly recognizable. She closed her eyes, raking through her mind, trying to figure out who this mysterious boy was. Nothing there. Just a bunch of puzzle pieces that couldn't be pieced together. Giving up, she turned her attention back toward the curious boy, talking to a boy with sandy brown hair.

"There he is!" cried an indignant Arabella. "That's him! Oy, James!"

The grinning boy saw the screaming girl - Arabella - and waved at her, but as soon as he laid eyes on Lily, his smile vanished. He cocked his head a little bit to the left, studying her. Growing uncomfortable, she cleared her throat and tried to obscure his vision by placing Bella in front of her.

"Oy, what'd you do that for?" she hissed.

"That boy is staring at me," Lily whispered.

"He must like you."

"Oh no, I mean the kind of staring where he's about to eat me. It's like I'm the prey and he's the predator."

"Don't be ridiculous, Lily. He's a lovely boy. You'll love him."

Even though she just met Arabella, Lily felt that she'd known Bella her whole life. It could've been the fact that Bella resembled her mother; they shared many character traits that Lily didn't have - courage, respect and of course, stubbornness, even though Lily had a bit of that.

"If I love him so much then how come I'm not feeling anything?" spat Lily, not meaning to be rude.

Ignoring her rude comment, she said, "You're not supposed to feel love. You can't base your feelings on love. That's like gambling, and gambling is bad."

"Great, so if I'm not supposed to feel love then what am I supposed to do?"

"Love is an act, Lil."

"Don't go psychotic on me, Just Bella."

"I thought I already was." Bella grinned. "Right, James is coming this way. Now's the time to come from my shadow and greet him."

James and his friend greeted Bella, but half the time they did this, James had been eyeing Lily the whole time. Making her uncomfortable, James started staring at her more intently. Every time he stared at her like that she felt naked. Unclothed. Bare. She didn't like the feeling - not one bit.

"Who's your friend?" asked James.

"Oh, yes. I forgot to introduce you two," said Bella. "James, this is Lily. Lily Evans. Lily, this is James, oh, and let's not forget his steed, Remus Lupin."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Great," he mumbled, "I'm a horse now."

James' eyes grew wide, very wide. He started fiddling and doing odd things that even Arabella couldn't explain. Suddenly, he started stuttering things like, "You're Lily? Lily Evans? You dance ballet and have since a little girl?"

Lily nodded her fervently. "Yes, I'm Lily Evans. Why is that so hard to believe? And how did you know that I dance? Who are you!"

"This is amazing!" grinned James. His act had stopped and he was now staring intently at Lily. "Don't you remember me? James Potter? Childhood mate?"

Before Lily could get a chance to answer, James Potter had his arms wrapped around her. He twirled her. Hugged her. Kissed her - in that platonic way. Anything to show affection. "It's you Red, it's really you!"

Repulsed, Lily tried to push James off her. This stranger - out of nowhere - started hugging her, as if there were no tomorrow.

"Who are you?" Lily shrieked, finally pushing James off her.

James' smile sunk. She didn't remember him. After all, her past was only a puzzle to her. Pieces were lost, and even pictures weren't enough to bring her memory her back. Lily. Lost. She didn't know it, but in months time, she would be; all these memories, flooding back to her. Even the thought terrified him.

"I'm sorry," apologized James.

"It's quite alright. I guess wizards have a different way of greeting people."

He nodded his head.

Before the pair could exchange anymore words, a certain body bounded into the room. Not only that but fireworks were being set off in different parts of the Great Hall. A few second year girls squealed, running away from the explosion. Unlike the girls, the boys howled - laughing at not only the fireworks but the girls.

James got a good glance of the boy: dark hair that reached his bottom chin, mischievous brown eyes and an expression that no boy - or girl - could forget. Instantly, James liked this boy, and heck, he hadn't even met him.

"A Black is back, and this time, even better," yelled the boy who obviously went by the name of 'Black'. To James, the phrase made no sense, but the boy was fascinating, and he had to hand it to the boy.

"Who's that?" asked Remus, also fascinated with the boy.

"Oh. Him? His name is Sirius Black."

"How do you know him?"

"I talked to him a little on the train. He's rather jumpy…"

Remus nodded his head. "When's the sorting starting?"

"Attention students," said the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. He had white hair and a white beard. If Lily didn't know who he was, she could've sworn he looked like Santa, except a lot skinnier. "The sorting has begun."

A frantic look passed over some first years' faces. Not Lily, nor James. Both contained pride and bravery.

Sitting under the hat, Lily waited - nervously - for the hat's answer. Surely she wouldn't be put in Slytherin. She wanted to be put in Ravenclaw but Gryffindor would do. She even specifically told the hand not to put her in Slytherin. At that remark the hat laughed.

"I won't put you in Slytherin, silly girl," whispered the hat. "You would do well in Gryffindor. Hm…very good."

"Please," whispered the frantic girl, "put me in Ravenclaw."

"I usually make exceptions," whispered the hat, "but I'm sorry, I can't put you in Ravenclaw. You're too much of a Gryffindor."

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.

Strangely, she felt an odd feeling in her stomach, and it wasn't worry. Not only did she get Gryffindor but so did James, Remus, Arabella and even Sirius - much to his amazement.

By the end of the day, she already had a best friend. And that Sirius boy wasn't so bad. Lily didn't end up talking to the strange boy who had started hugging her earlier that day. James, was it? Nor did she speak to the sickly boy that was with him.

Honestly, she loved Hogwarts. It was fantastic. But every time she glanced at James Potter, images filled her head: two children either picking flowers or chasing each other - probably playing hide-and-go-seek. And worse, the two children were her and James at age six.

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**A/N 2: Confused a little? It'll clear up later. Kimberly promised ) **


	3. Rejection At Its Finest

**Remember When**

**Chapter 2 - Rejection At Its Finest  
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**Written By Judy **

**A/N: I finally picked myself a beta! Thanks to everyone who offered, but my new beta is ShOrTnSwEeT9013, and she beta-ed this chapter for me And don't freak out about the lack of dialogue in this chapter. The details may seem to drag on, but I was mostly worried about character developments for this chapter. I really want to make it clear about how I want to portray everyone.**

**Edit/June 22: I took out the part describing Lily and Bella, because I feared for Mary Sueness. **

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Sixteen-year-old Lily Evans jogged down the stairs and into the Common Room looking for her two best friends. As she neared the last few steps, she spotted Sirius Black's perfect hair on the sofa in front of the fire. 

"Sirius!" Lily called. Sirius turned around and grinned at his best friend.

"Hey Red," Sirius greeted.

Lily started over towards him. "Have you seen Just Bella anywhere?"

From the floor, Lily heard a groan. "Lily, _please,_ when are you going to stop calling me that?"

Sirius laughed as Lily scrunched up her face in mock-thinking style. "Hm, let me think about that. When do you plan on dying?"

Even Bella couldn't suppress a laugh at Lily's sarcasm.

After meeting on the train, Lily and Bella became best friends. How could they not? They had so much in common. But then, after the first few weeks at school, Lily befriended another: Sirius Black. Most were shocked, including Bella. Sirius Black was a prankster; a troublemaker, and Lily was Gryffindor's new sweetheart. But Lily saw another side to him. When being paired up for projects, they were often stuck together as their last names were one after the other in Gryffindor's class list.

When Bella refused to be Sirius's friend as well as Lily's, Lily threw a fit and wouldn't give in until Bella did.

It was a very memorable day.

_**Five Years Prior**_

_"AUHHHHHHH!" Lily shrieked, clenching her fists tightly._

_"Lily! Stop yelling!" Bella cried._

_"Not on your life Just Bella. Be Sirius's friend." Lily bargained._

_"No way!"_

_"AUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

_Many people, including the older kids, started looking over at the pair. After all, they were in the Common Room._

_"God, ok, fine! Fine Lily, ok? Just stop screaming!" Bella gave in._

_Lily immediately ceased all cries. "You'll be his friend?"_

_Bella sighed. "I guess so. If it makes you happy."_

_Lily grinned. "Great!" She threw herself onto Bella and wrapped her in a hug. "You won't regret it, I swear."_

_"I better not." Bella muttered._

That day was just the first of Lily's many fits. Their little trio soon found that Lily could easily manage to get whatever she wanted, seeing as she had the ability to guilt you, feel sorry for her, or make you want to pull your hair out. Sirius often mused that she was like a two-year-old, only taller and more awkward.

And Lily _was_ tall. At full height, she stood at 5'8". Her limbs were long and gangly, but strengthend due to the excercise of her dancing.

..xXx..

"So what're you doing down here Lils?" Bella asked. She did a once over on Lily noticed that her hair was pulled back into a bun and along with her tank top and cut-off shorts, she had her knee and ankle braces on, as well as pink tights. In her left hand she was holding her arch supports.

"You look like you're ready to dance," Sirius commented, voicing Bella's exact thoughts.

Lily grinned and shook her arch supports, "That I am darlings. I came in to ask if either of you have seen my green skirt."

Bella shook her head, but Sirius said, "I have it."

Both heads turned to him in confusion. "Why do you have Lily's skirt?" Bella asked.

Sirius shrugged, "I dunno. It was in my Quidditch bag."

Lily slowly nodded her head. "Right... I'll just use a black skirt." She turned around to go back up the stairs just as James Potter descended the boy's staircase.

"Hey Evans, looking good," he greeted with a wink.

"Sod off, Potter," she replied as she sprinted up the stairs.

"Hogsmeade, next--"

"No," she interrupted. James shook his head in amazement. He noticed that Arabella and Sirius were looking at him and pointed up the stairs. "I love that girl."

"Too bad she doesn't feel the same way," Bella muttered sarcastically.

Sirius kicked her lightly. "Be nice," he muttered. "Hey Prongs!"

James strolled over towards the pair, "Hey Padfoot. What's going on? And Figg, are you jealous I don't feel for you the way I feel for Lily?"

"In your dreams," Bella snorted, at the same time Sirius said, "Not much."

As James opened his mouth to reply to both Bella and Sirius, they heard footsteps on the stairs. All three turned around just in time to see Lily jumping off the third step. Bella rolled her eyes at Lily's childlike nature.

"Hey guys, I'll be you-know-where. Later!" she called.

"Hey Evans! How about--" James started.

"How about no?" she sang as she danced her way out the portrait hole.

James grinned. He turned back to Bella and Sirius. "If you two will excuse me, I have a maiden to win over." He lightly swatted at Sirius's head, "See you 'round mate."

The pair stared after him as he exited through the portrait hole. "You know," Bella started, "I think he gets a weird sort of pleasure from being rejected by Lily."

..xXx..

"Hey Lily, wait up!" James called. He had followed her out the portrait and was now chasing her down the corridor.

Lily shook her head and gave a light laugh, "You just don't give up, do you?"

"Not when I'm talking about the relationship between me and Gryffindor's Sweetheart." James grinned.

Lily stopped and turned to James. "Oh, you mean that relationship where you ask me out, and I deny you every time?"

James blinked as a slow smile curved up from his lips. He tapped Lily in the nose and said, "Well aren't you just the cheekiest of them all," It was more of a statement than a question.

Lily smiled, "I know. It's great isn't it?" And with that, she left him standing in the corridor all by himself.

While watching her stroll down the hallway with her ballet gear in her arms, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't even think about asking Potter!" Lily called.

"Wasn't gonna!" James yelled back, grinning all the while.

"Lies!" Lily shrieked. She turned around for a split-second and caught James's eye just in time to wink at him, then took off running, giggling the whole way.

James stared after her. "That's my Red," he whispered to himself.

He hadn't forgotten his childhood friend. After that occasion on their first day at Hogwarts, he just stepped back and accepted that she didn't remember him. Instead of pushing her to remember, he watched her from afar. He watched her grow up as Gryffindor's new sweetheart, and he watched every boy in their entire year fall in love with her. He watched all the older kids dote on her for being so sweet, and he watched all the younger kids look at her with admiration for being so kind.

There would be no forgetting Lily. That just wasn't an option anymore. And the way James figured it, who cared about that the doctor said? _A slim to none chance of her memory coming back. A one-in-a-million happening._ Well damn the doctor. This was that one in that million. Lily was the special case. And her memory would come back and she'd remember how much they loved each other and they would live happily ever after.

_Until then, _James thought, _I'll settle for this._

..xXx..

_Demi-plié and straighten. Demi-plié and straighten. Grande-plié, up to relevé, hold, and finish._

Lily's eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she warmed up. Of everything about dance, to her, warming up was the worst part. Sure, it was a necessary part of dancing, but it wasn't dancing. Dancing to Lily was moving across the floor in movements so fluid and sweet that you could feel it in your blood. It was a state of mind, an escape from the real world.

It was life, and all she had ever known.

After doing her last exercise, she looked around her ballet room and sighed with pleasure. In her first year, she hadn't a place to dance and was in desperate need of one. She began sneaking into empty classrooms to practice her passion, until Professor McGonagall walked in on her after hearing the classical music drifting down the hallway. The head of Gryffindor then proceeded to notify Dumbledore, and the Headmaster had a special room prepared for Lily on the fourth floor.

It used to be an abandoned classroom. Now it was every dancer's dream.

The room rectangular. One of the longer walls was a straight mirror all the way down. The adjacent, short wall was a huge bay window overlooking the Quidditch Pitch. In her Third Year, Lily lined the wood of the bench with a small, fluffy duvet and put some throw pillows on the sides.

The back wall was Lily's favorite part of the room. Not the premium wood floor, not the Marilyn Monroe blow-up by the door. It was all the back wall.

It had started out as just a regular, plain old wall with a picture of Margot Fonteyn dancing as Aurora in Sleeping Beauty. Over the years, the wall had become a memory of every great thing in Lily's life.

There were pictures of her parents, her sister, Bella and Sirius, and scenes from her favorite ballets. There were ticket stubs from shows she had gone to see, and bewitched roses from every time she had performed for her friends. There were plaques from her studio back home, and her first ballet shoes. There were chucks of fabric from almost every costume she had ever worn. There were to-do lists, and post-its of her favorite quotes.

It was Lily's whole life, right there on that wall.

..xXx..

"Oh Merlin!" Bella shrieked as the compact in her pocket vibrated. She pulled it out and opened it, not surprised to see Lily grinning madly at her.

"Come dance with me Bell," she said, her emerald eyes dancing.

Bella chuckled, "No way! I still have a ton of homework left."

"Please?" Lily pleaded, "I'll help you with all of that later. I'm lonely!"

"Oh, fine. Alright. I'll be there in ten," she gave in.

"Great!" Lily chirped before her face disappeared.

Bella sighed. I can't ever refuse her, can I?

"If Lily's mirror scares you so bad, why do you carry it with you?" Sirius asked, not looking up from his Quidditch magazine.

Bella glared. "What if she ever fell in the dance room? How would I know she was hurt?"

"If she fell, how would she be able to get to the mirror to get help?"

Bella opened her mouth to snap back, but ended up with nothing to say. Sirius smirked.

For her 14th birthday, Lily had splurged and bought herself fancy looking mirror to hang on her Wall of Life. Despite the creepiness of its purchase, Lily kept the mirror and used it whenever she pleased.

_"What makes it so special?" the young redhead asked._

_The gypsy woman smiled a slow, almost scary-looking, smile, "It comes with zis." In her left hand, she held up a compact mirror with an engraving on the cover that matched the one on the top of the mirror._

_Lily's brow furrowed, "I don't understand."_

_"You give the compac' to a friend. You stand at your mirror. You sey her name, and the compac' will vibrate. She opens, and you she will see."_

_Lily's eyes widened. "Like a communicator?" she asked._

_"Yes, child." The gypsy said, her accent disturbing Lily to an extent._

_"I'll take it!" she proclaimed, reaching out for the mirror._

_"Aye!" The woman called, "Not so fest, child."_

_Lily frowned. "What's the problem?"_

_"Ze mirror chooses it's owner. Touch the mirror, child." she commanded._

_Lily frowned deeper, but reached to the mirror with her index finger. It glowed blue._

_The gypsy woman was stunned. "My mirror… you, you child mest have zis mirror."_

_If it was possible, Lily frowned even more. "But… but why?" she spluttered, "I might not even want it now!"_

_The lady gave her a grim smile, "Ze mirror has chosen, child. You mest take it. One dey, it will save you life."_

* * *


	4. Moody As They Come

**Chapter 3 - Moody As They Come**

"Why, if it isn't Ms. Lily Evans. How are you, Evans?" asked James, sitting next to Lily, across from Sirius, who was staring at a certain blonde-haired girl. Bella was sitting next to Sirius, slightly disgusted, a hint of annoyance in her eyes.

"Fine, Potter. I'd be better if you left," she retorted, stabbing her eggs whilst in the process.

"Why so hostile, Evans?"

Mumbling something incoherent, she stabbed her eggs quickly, causing it to splatter. Bella could identify the words as: "Stupid Potter", or, "When will he ever learn?"

"You never answered my question," James said.

"I'm not feeling well, Potter," snapped Lily, whose eyes were tired looking but not enough to tell James to back away. "So, if you could please back away from my personal bubble, I'll be a lot happier."

"Lily's not the only one who isn't feeling well," piped Bella. Her gaze went to Sirius, who was still staring at the blonde-haired girl from Ravenclaw. "He's been staring for the past five minutes. I wouldn't be surprised if he was sick or not."

"I think Padfoot's just infatuated," James said, snorting. He prepared his plate with assortments of food: eggs, toast, and porridge. "Evans, pass the marmalade, please."

Mumbling, she passed it to James, who thanked her in return.

Bella piped up at James' words. "What are you talking about, James?"

"Look at him; he's been gazing at the pretty Ravenclaw for the past hour."

Her brows furrowed. "So, he could be looking at Dumbledore."

James let out a hearty laugh, placing the eggs back in its original place. Wiping eggs of his face, he tossed the napkin on the table, reaching near Lily's elbow, which caused a small riot out of her. "My dear Bella, Padfoot isn't like that; he prefers women, if you don't include Peter, who might as well be a girl."

"Hey!" exclaimed the stout-looking boy who was pondering intently, gazing off into the direction of the Slytherin table.

"Just joking, Wormtail. We know you're not a pansy," joked James, causing a cough from Bella. James looked at her strangely, then realizing what she coughed about. He sent her a knowing grin. "Well, I must be off."

"Where are you going?" asked Bella.

"Er...nowhere in particular; I might—never mind. I must be off. See you," bade James, walking hastily to the Great Hall's exit.

"What's with him?" queried Bella, asking to no one in particular.

"Who cares," mumbled Lily, finishing off the last bit of her porridge. "Well, I must be off, too. I'm meeting with Professor Flitwick."

"About what?"

"Something about an upcoming ball."

That obviously snapped a dazed Sirius out of his reverie. "Ball? What? We're having a ball?"

"No, we're talking about it. Don't tell anyone, though, but we're also thinking about dance lessons. Most people aren't accustomed with ballroom dancing, and we're thinking about having a dancing instructor."

"Dancing lessons? DANCING LESSONS!" exclaimed Sirius. "Why do we need dancing lessons? Lily, please convince the old wizard to cancel—or at least rid the idea of dancing lessons."

"Because you need it, Sirius. The last time I danced with you, you ended up stepping on toes, leaving a mark there for a few months. Might I quote your words after you stepped on my foot: 'Oh, Lily, did I step on your foot? I'm sorry if I did, I'm just a really pathetic dancer.'"

At that statement, his eyes widened. Standing up quickly—so he could feel dominant over her—he raised his eyebrows and therefore, a friendly riot broke out.

"Okay, I never claimed that I was a pathetic dancer."

Lily stood up, also, but she wasn't tall enough. "Curse you, Black! You might be taller than me, but at least I have proof that you said this."

"Psh. What proof?"

Lily stared at Bella, her eyes encouraging the strawberry-blonde beauty to stand up. "Bella, didn't he say that?"

"Hmm...sure, Lily."

"Bella, are you okay?" asked Lily, noticing Bella's outlandish behavior. "You seem a bit off."

Lily looked at Bella, who was currently looking at the Great Hall's exit. The massive brown doors were currently shut—a rare thing. And as Lily looked around the room, she noticed that not many people were attending breakfast; after all, the sun had just now fought the darkness, specks of light illuminating the hall.

"I-I have to go and talk with James. I'll see you in Charms," Bella said.

"I do, too. I'll come with you, Bella."

Sending her a curt glance, Bella could see Lily step back a bit. Her gaze softened, not meaning to hurt her. "No, stay."

"But I have to talk to Flitwick—"

"Just don't follow me; I'll meet up with you later." Bella sent one last glance at Sirius, Peter, and Lily, and walked towards the Great Hall's exit. "I'll see you around."

Leaving a hurt Lily and a befuddled Sirius and Peter, all Bella could think about was their expressions. But she needed to talk to James. Without Lily. She knew that James always liked Lily, but there was something else she needed to know; something just didn't seem right, something that needed to be explained.

..xXx..

"What's wrong with her?" asked Lily, slightly hurt.

"You can never tell what our Bella is thinking about. She's always thinking of the quirkiest things," stated Sirius. "Lils, don't worry. She probably had to go somewhere; maybe it's her mother, again."

Lily grimaced; Bella's mother wasn't the friendliest woman. Just like Sirius, Bella's mother was pureblood and loved the Dark Arts. Opposed to Gryffindors, Bella's mother nearly shunned her out of her life. If it weren't for her father, Bella would be living with Lily or Sirius.

"Probably..." whispered Lily. "Well, I'll see you. I have an engagement with Flitwick."

"Bye, Lily," said Peter and Sirius, simultaneously.

..xXx..

All the Hogwarts students gathered for dinner, talking animatedly amongst themselves. However, three people were quiet, slowly soaking up other people's conversations, not bothering with their own. They were thinking intently, thinking about the day, certain information, and the blonde-haired Ravenclaw girl who was currently talking with her friends.

"How long has he been staring at that Ravenclaw girl?" asked Bella.

Currently, Lily twisted a red hair strand around her finger, feeling its smoothness. Shrugging, Lily let out a big heave. "I guess around ten or so minutes."

"Well, then you obviously haven't been paying attention to him that much," Bella stated, still looking at Sirius, a hint of frustration in her eyes and another feeling Lily couldn't detect.

"No, not really. Sirius' love life is not my business; I think mine is enough to deal with."

Shockingly, Sirius, Bella, nor Lily, heard a quirky comment from James. Usually, he'd snag this as an opportunity to flirt with Lily and ask about her love life, wondering if he could enter it sometime soon.

Still disheartened about the previous morning, Lily wanted to snag a chance to talk to Bella, who was currently seen with James Potter, talking quietly to him. She never got a chance, though. Bella was always with teachers or peers.

Remus, slightly tired from the previous night, saw Sirius gawking at the Ravenclaw girl, drool dribbling from his chin. He grabbed a napkin and handed it to Sirius, who obviously didn't see what was in front of him.

"Sirius." He didn't budge. "Sirius?" Still no movement, whatsoever. "SIRIUS!"

He jumped—at least five feet in the air—causing a squeal from Bella. "What do you want?"

"Ask her out already!"

"Who?" asked Sirius, naively.

"Her, you ass. Go ask her out."

Sirius sighed. "She's French, you know. She just broke up with that Diggory boy. Her name is Bridget, but of course, that's the English pronunciation. The French pronunciation is Brigitte Blanche. Brigitte means strong; Blanche means white."

Remus slapped him over the head. "Great, so her name means 'strong white'? Nice, Padfoot."

"What? It does." With Remus sending him a disapproved look, all Sirius could do was put his hands up in defense. "She's beautiful, though."

"You're pathetic, moronic, idiotic, and the list goes on and on. You've fallen for a girl and you don't know one thing about her. Not to mention that when you like a girl, you usually pursue a relationship. But no, not this time."

"Hey!" cried Sirius. "I've only had a few girlfriends."

"Yeah, but you've flirted with other people's girlfriends, not your own," mumbled Bella, her eyes burning, nostrils flaring.

"Hey, Bella, your nostrils are going up and down. You look—"

Before Sirius could finish his sentence, Bella stood up and slammed her chair into the table. "Black, you make me disgusted!" And with that, she ran, losing her pride, and just ran, angered.

"Great, Sirius. Way to woo a lady," said a sarcastic Lily. "You really have it in you."

"What did I do?" asked a befuddled Sirius. "I mean she was still mad at me before I talked about her nostrils flaring up and down. It wasn't my fault; I can't help it if I can pursue a relationship and she can't even get a bloke."

"Honestly, Sirius, you can be so dense sometimes," cried Lily. "I want to run after her but I can't. After this morning, I just—"

"I'll talk with her," volunteered James, folding up his napkin.

Expecting a thank you from Lily, James waited around a bit, carefully getting up from his chair. But all he got was: "You better not screw this up, Potter."

..xXx..

Sitting out by the gardens, James could spot Bella's figure, her shadow not moving; you could mistake her for a statue. And as the moon shone on her, he could see her face, no tears in sight. Carefully, he crept up on her, making sure he wouldn't scare her.

"Bella," he whispered.

She jumped.

He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Bella, it's James. Sirius, Remus, and Lily wanted me to talk to you."

She snorted. "I know that."

James sat down, taking in the moonlight. "You know, Bella, Sirius always jokes with you; why did it bother you this time?"

"I don't know," she sighed.

Silence passed them. It was getting dark and the only light provided was the fluorescent moon that shone down upon them. She could feel James get up, his feet accidentally stepping on hers.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay." James turned his back on her, heading towards Hogwarts. He knew that he didn't help much. But he couldn't think of anything else to say. But before he didn't think he'd utter anymore words, Bella stopped him. "James, what were you doing this morning?"

"Remembering old memories."

"Involving Lily?"

He turned around, puzzled. "How did you know?"

"When I was looking for Sirius, I saw a picture of you two holding hands. Of course, I doubted that was Lily standing next to you. But I must admit, it took me awhile to believe that...that girl, that you two liked each other and she befriended you...and that... Wait, how did you two know each other? Lily's a muggle."

"I don't really want to talk about my past, Bella."

"But how—how could she like you and then hate you all of a sudden?"

"I don't want to take a trip down Memory Lane, again, Bella." She looked at his eyes. Stone cold. No life at all. "I just want you to go back inside and for everything to be fine."

"Just like they used to be," whispered James, but Bella couldn't hear these words; she was already heading for the castle.

* * *

**Disclaimer: What you know, we don't own. **

**This chap was written by Kimberly. My turn next! I can't promise any quick updates, but it won't be _too_ long. And as always, many thanks to ****ShOrTnSwEeT9013 for betaing.  
**


	5. Of Him She Dreams

**Chapter Four - Of Him She Dreams  
Disclaimer: What you know isn't ours  
Judy Written**

**Edit/ August 9, 2005: I edited the Professor's name to match HBP. I think everything else in the story fits... **

* * *

"_Come on, Tigergirl! Come race me," the small, raven-headed boy cried._

"_But Jamie, it's raining outside!" a young Lily whined._

_The boy called Jamie gave her a familiar, wolfish grin. "That's never stopped us before!"_

"_Okay, let's run!" she decided, after a moment of thinking. If it was possible, the boy's grin grew even larger as he grabbed her hand. Pulling her out the door, the two children raced through the fields in the summer heat. Their melodic laughter was almost haunting as it carried over the flowers. The soft thudding of their bare feet matched that of the rainfall overhead._

"_Lily," the young boy called, "Lily…"_

"LILY!"

Lily shot up out of bed so sharply she might've gotten whiplash. Rubbing her neck tenderly, she looked for the one who was calling her name.

"Bell? What time is it?" she mumbled, shaking her head to clear her mind of her strange dreams.

Arabella was standing in front of Lily's four-poster bed, dressed and ready for class. "It's already eight. You need to get ready for class!"

Groaning, Lily swung her legs to the floor. "And here I thought I was late. Why do you insist on getting up so early? It's Thursday. Our first class doesn't even start until 9:30."

Bella grinned. "We can't all get up ten minutes before class and still look great while making it on time."

"Neither can I," Lily said, banging her hand on the bathroom door. "Lisa!" she yelled, "Get out of the bathroom!"

"I've just gotten in!" Lisa Patil cried back, her voice muffled by the sound of running water. Turning to Bella for confirmation, Lily sighed.

"Oi, Lils," Dana Parker called from across the dorm, "didn't you shower last night? After we played hide-and-seek down by the lake?"

Lily blinked, and then grinned. "Oh yeah! Forgot about that," she laughed, making her way back towards her bed.

"Lily," Arabella started, using her warning voice, "what're you doing?"

"Catching s'more sleep," she replied, diving back underneath the covers of her bed.

* * *

Lily yawned for the tenth time as she and Bella walked to History of Magic. Arabella glanced her way. "Any reason you're so tired this morning?" 

Caught in mid-yawn, she shook her head. "I ju idn't et muslee las ight."

Bella laughed, "Want to try that again?"

Lily grinned, shoving her friend playfully. "I just didn't get much sleep last night. I kept having these weird dreams."

"What about?" Bella asked, her voice concerned. "Something scary?"

"No," Lily hesitated, trying to conjure a mental image of the movie that had played in her mind as she slept. "It was me, or at least I think it was me, and then there was another person and we were playing, and it was raining, and I was bare foot…" Lily cut off her rambling when Bella gave her a strange look.

"It was like a memory. Like something I should remember, but I don't." she explained, her brow creased in concentration.

"Okay," Bella said, nodding her head slowly, "I think I get what you mean. So tell me about the dream, was it a recent memory?"

Lily shook her head once more, causing her ponytail to sway. "No, actually, it wasn't. That's why it's so weird. I was young, maybe around six or something like that."

_James knew Lily when they were six, _Arabella mused. _Let's see where I can take this._

"Say, Lil, were you, um… who was the other person in your dream?"

Lily scrunched up her face. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "He was young, like me, and he had really messy, bed-heady, black hair."

_I knew it. Who else has that kind of hair?_

"And you know what? Now that I think about it, I was calling him Jamie. But I don't know any Jamie's, so I guess that's irrelevant," Lily said absently.

_It's not irrelevant. Jamie, short for James._

"But Bells? I don't think it matters who it was. If I was six, that was back before I moved to Surrey. I left that little boy in my dream too long ago for it to matter."

_Oh, Lily. If only you knew._

"Bella? BELLA!" Lily yelled, waving her hands in front of Bella's face, shaking her from her thoughts.

"Yeah, what? Sorry, I was spacing."

"Yeah, no kidding." Lily retorted, giving her a weird look.

Bella shoved her playfully. "Right, because you never space out."

"Who doesn't space out?" Sirius asked, approaching the two girls with his fellow Marauders in tow.

"Lily thinks she doesn't," Bella said, a smirk tugging at her lips.

Sirius snorted, then cleared his throat at Lily's shouts of protest.

"I so do not space out," Lily declared.

Leaning in close, Sirius lowered his voice considerably. "Remember that time you, me, Gary, and Missy all doubled at Hogsmeade and you gave him a black eye when he leaned in to kiss you?"

Lily flushed, "Yeah…"

"_That_ was because you were spacing."

Behind the two friends, Bella and the other Marauders tried horribly to stifle their laughter.

Lily turned her nose up in the air. "At least Gary tried to kiss me. Missy stayed away from you like you had a three-foot nose!"

Sirius blushed red. "I had a _cold_ for Merlin's sake!" he protested over the laughter of his friends.

Lily gave a throaty giggle and put both her hands on Sirius's cheeks and pulled him to her eye level. "Of course you did, baby cakes," she teased, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before skipping down the hallway.

"Come on, Just Bella!" she yelled, glancing back over her shoulder. With one last laugh, Bella hurried down the hallway to catch up with Lily.

* * *

Watching his two friends skip and giggle down towards their History of Magic classroom, Sirius groaned. "_Why_ in Merlin's name does she call me that?" 

James laughed and pinched one of Sirius's cheeks. "Beats me, baby cakes."

Sirius snorted and punched James on the arm. James hit him back, and soon the two were playfully brawling in the middle of the hallway.

After about 30 seconds of watching his two best friends act like idiots, Remus Lupin stepped in. "Come on ladies," he started, picking both boys up by the hoods of their robes. "Best get up before we're late for class." As if on cue, the warning bell sounded, and Remus looked at James and Sirius pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah, let's get to class," Sirius said, giving James one last sock on the head as the walked to their classroom. They had, roughly, about three minutes to make it to class before the final bell sounded.

"But seriously Padfoot, just be happy Lily calls you anything at all," James said, his voice serious with a hint of sadness.

Sirius glanced at his best friend. "Prongs," he started, hesitating for a moment, "if it ever… gets too weird, you know, me being close with Lily and all, just… tell me, ok? I, er… well I'd let her go for you."

James smiled, "I know you would, mate… but how else will I keep tabs on her without you?"

Sirius laughed. "So that's why you keep me around," he joked, putting an end to the serious air of their last topic. James laughed along with him as they approached the classroom door and took their seats.

* * *

"_Jamie!" the young redhead called softly, "Jamie!"_

_The little boy stuck his head out his window. "Lily? What're you doin', Red?"_

"_I can't sleep!" she whispered loudly._

"_I'm coming down," he whispered back, pulling his head back in. Minutes later, he was beside her. _

"_You wanna swing?" he asked. She nodded, and the pair walked across the dewy grass towards the padded swing on the Evans's front lawn. As the sat down on the soft, green and white bench, the midnight moon shone brightly over them and the stars twinkled down on their innocent faces._

_Their chatter was soft and naïve, and about nothing at all, yet everything at the same time. The two untainted children sat on the swing, which eventually swayed them to sleep. _

"_Lily… wake up, honey," a soft voice whispered. "Lily…"_

"Huh? What's it, Mum?" Lily mumbled, picking her head up off her desk.

"Lily, get up! Class is over," Bella said, tugging on Lily's arm. "And I'm not your mum!"

"Of course you aren't," Lily replied. "I slept through class?" she asked, stretching her arms above her head.

"Apparently," Bella replied, gathering her friend's books. Lily took them with a word of thanks and the two followed their class out into the hallway.

"Did I miss anything important?"

Bella shook her head, "No, but I'm worried about you. Did you have a dream?"

Lily bit her lip and nodded. "It was me, and that same little boy. This time, I couldn't sleep, so I called him out of his house. When he came down, we sat on a swing and talked until we fell asleep. If it weren't so disturbing, I'd find it really cute."

"Still no idea who he is?"

"Nada," Lily replied, spotting Sirius in the crowd. "Hey, Sirius! Wait up!" Lily called, grabbing Bella's hand and dragging her down the hallway.

"Hey Lil, saw you sleeping in class. You ok?" Sirius asked, mildly concerned. Lily never slept through class.

Lily shrugged. "Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Bad dreams?" Remus asked, looking at the girls over his shoulder.

Lily laughed lightly. "Something like that," she replied.

"You want to clarify that for us?" James drawled from Sirius's right side.

"Not really," Lily said.

James raised his eyebrows.

"Well, if you insist," Lily said, rolling her bright green eyes. "The thing is, lately, I've been dreaming of a little boy whom my mind calls Jamie. That doesn't sound too crazy, but I don't know the little bloke. And the dreams I've been having seem like so familiar… like memories I used to have, but don't anymore."

The silence was deafening.

"Guys?"

* * *

Plopping down on the couch before the fire in the Common Room, Lily sighed. "Bell? That was _so_ weird." 

Bella sat down beside her. "You know I agree with you, but I got the idea after the first four times you told me."

"But did you see the way they--"

"Yes, Lil, I was there too."

"And then they just--"

"I know, Lil."

"But they didn't even--"

"Lily!"

"What?" Lily asked, exasperated.

"I know how weird it was that they all made up some lame excuses to leave, and how weird it was that they just ran off with out saying much of anything else, but can we talk about something else? At least until our next class," Bella bargained.

"Oh, boo. You're no fun," Lily complained.

* * *

Life, Sirius decided, was a bastard to those who deserved it the least. 

Take James, for example. He was lucky enough to fall in love at the ripe age of 4, and then he lost the girl to a head injury in a car accident. Then to top it all off, his best mate ends up befriending the said girl, and having the friendship that James deserved.

The best mate being Sirius, of course.

Lying next to Lily on stormy nights like these, Sirius would give anything in the world to give everything he had with Lily to James. It simply wasn't _fair_. It wasn't fair that Sirius knew how Lily couldn't sleep through thunderstorms unless she was curled up next to someone she trusted, and James didn't. It wasn't fair that James had to watch Lily sleep in Sirius's bed whenever she was too afraid to sleep alone, yet couldn't do anything about it but close his bed hangings, which he hated to do. It wasn't fair that she wasn't curled under _James's _arms whenever she suffered from bouts of insomnia, when he was the one who knew her soul. It wasn't fair that James had the universe within his reach, yet couldn't grab on to the one thing he wanted the most.

It just wasn't _fair._

* * *

Lightening filled the room , followed by a bout of loud, room-rumbling thunder, and Lily jumped from her spot on Sirius's bed. 

Whimpering, she tugged on the side of Sirius's gray sleep shirt. "Sirius, did you see that? Did you _hear _it?" she whispered frantically.

"Shh," he whispered back soothingly, brushing back the stray hairs on her forehead. "It was just some harmless bolts of lightening. Nothing to be afraid of, Lil."

"Nothing to be afraid of?" she questioned forcefully, "I don't know what planet you're living on, but on Earth, people DIE from lightening bolts!"

Sirius chuckled and Lily's head shook from the vibrations of his chest. "Red, the number of lightening bolt deaths per year is, like, ten. Low double-digits. You won't die, I won't die, none of us will ever die from it. I promise."

Lily huffed and turned to face away from her best friend's body. "You don't know that. Last time I checked, you were Sirius Black; not God."

Lily knew she sounded like a moron; she could hear Remus's snorts of muffled laughter from his bed across from Sirius's, but she didn't ask to be so afraid of storms. It was in her nature; her mum had always been deathly afraid of thunderstorms and had instilled the phobia in Lily's mind, whether she meant to or not.

At home in Surrey, it was never a problem to run over to her parents' bed and curl up between them when she was frightened, but here at Hogwarts, finding someone to protect her from the raging storm was something else entirely. In the beginning, there was a simple solution: sleep with Bella. Easy enough, and it wasn't a matter of the other person being strong; Lily just wanted to feel safe. In November of her first year at Hogwarts, she had her first storm away from home. Waking up Bella, she crawled in bed with her and fell asleep instantly.

The problem with sleeping with Arabella, Lily soon found out, was that she kicked in her sleep.

_Hard._

Lily woke up from that night's slumber on the floor with bruises on her long legs. Apologizing profusely, the strawberry-blonde worked hard to come up with a fix to _this_ problem.

When the next thunderstorm shook Hogwarts, Bella sent Lily to the boy's dormitory.

Now, sleeping in Sirius's bed was second-nature to Lily; both knowing their relationship was nothing more than sibling-like. At the time, however, the rumors flew. Many girls in their year, and some older and younger, glared at Lily whenever they got chance, and the whispers didn't go unheard. Eventually, it was accepted, and became just another part of Hogwarts society, but at the time, tears were shed and reputations were hurt. Lily even started to believe she was at fault for Sirius's womanizing rep, and told him so.

He denied it, of course, but the look on his face suggested he had had a similar thought.

* * *

Upon getting up in the morning, Arabella Figg had a routine. As friendships developed throughout their previous years at Hogwarts, getting Lily out of bed and ready for class became part of it. 

It wasn't a problem, never had been and probably never would be, but looking at her friendship with Lily from a different perspective, she realized just how much she babied her best friend. In their relationship, Bella took the responsible, 'we'll never be late if I'm around' role, and Lily took the carefree, 'let's dance barefooted in the spring drizzle' role. She was light and free, fun and always fresh, yet completely flawed at the same time.

She was both balanced and broken, two opposite forces mixed together to make one crazy girl. No matter how annoying, loud, and moody Lily was, all of her imperfections were forgotten as soon as she gave you one her of goofy, lopsided smiles.

It was hard being best friends with someone with such a good aura. There were many times, Bella had to admit, that she was downright jealous of Lily; positively green with envy at everything she had, and everything she didn't. Lily was one of those girls that you only thought existed in the movies, the girl-next-door who had lost so much in her childhood, yet destined to get it all back in time for a grand finale.

Lily lost James. He was there in her day-to-day scene as a popular Marauder, but she lost the James from her dreams. The Jamie she couldn't remember. She lost him, and his parents, and every memory of everything they did as children when they first fell in love. Lily felt nothing in her heart for the raven-headed Quidditch Captain, but she was weaved into his in ways no one could describe.

But someday, Bella knew, Lily would remember James, and her heart would finally hold the feelings that it should. One day, her lost memories of James will be found in her mind, and along with a love that's written in the stars, she will attain a love story for the ages.

* * *

"So I got up this morning, and automatically jumped on your bed to wake you up, and went positively bonkers when I jumped right onto your mattress. I thought you'd been abducted by the voices in your head in the middle of the night," Bella teased. 

It was breakfast time, and everyone was in the Great Hall. The echoes of the laughter and chatter of all the students bounced off the walls and rose into the sunny blue sky of the enchanted ceiling.

Lily giggled at Arabella's antics. "You're positively mental, Bella."

"As opposed to you? You're sixteen years old and _still_ sleeping in your best friend's bed during a storm. It was understandable when we were eleven, but now it's downright ridiculous," Bella shot back.

Lily stuck her tongue out and blew her friend a raspberry across the table. "Shut up. It's not my fault I'm so storm-a-phobic."

Dana laughed from her seat next to Lily. "Storm-a-phobic? Is it even a word?"

"Of course not," Bella replied, "but this is Lily we're talking about. Does she ever make sense?"

The two girls giggled while Lily pretended to be mad. "Oh hush, Arabella. You know you're just jealous I can go sleep next to Sirius and think nothing of it." The redhead drawled out Sirius's name, adding a slight air of suggestion to her sentence.

"And why would I care if you slept next to Sirius? I don't like him, I swear," Bella said, putting up two fingers. "Best friend's honor."

Lily smirked, "But I never said you like him," she replied, mimicking Bella's hand signal. "Best friend's honor."

Arabella blushed as Lily and Dana teased her about Sirius, but said nothing of it. Her actions, or lack thereof, stirred a bit of confusion in her friends' minds, but they too said nothing of Bella's behavior. Maybe it was time to put the teasing aside…

"Lily!"

Speak of the devil. Bella watched as Sirius hopped into the vacant seat next to Lily and tell her all about a big bash happening that night in Ravenclaw.

"That sounds like so much fun!" Lily gushed, then frowned. "But I have a Charms quiz I need to study for."

Bella watched as Sirius frowned at the idea of Lily not going to the party with him, and convinced her that they would go late so she could study beforehand. Sirius was always making time for Lily, wasn't he?

_I don't care. I bet he won't even ask me to go._

"So Bella, you in?"

_Say no, say no, say no…_

One look into his smoky gray eyes turned her mantra upside down.

"Definitely."

Looking back, Bella would find that _that_ was the day she officially realized just how much she actually did like Sirius, and how little she believed that she had any chances with him.

* * *

Lily drummed her fingers on her desk as she listened carefully for her name. It was Potions and Professor Slughorn was pairing partners for their next assignment. 

"Black, Patil."

"Figg, Parker."

"Evans, Potter."

Lily rolled her eyes. _Well, fancy that._

"Move to the desk of the one I called first. Get acquainted, for the partner you have now will be yours until the semester ends."

Lily inwardly groaned and silently cursed her professor.

The thud of James's book bag was followed by the sound of him plopping into his new seat. She didn't even bother to look up, she knew it was him.

"'ello, Lily," James greeted. She turned and looked at him. Deciding to make the best of it all, she smiled. It was small, but a smile nonetheless.

"Hello, James."

* * *

"Alice." In went the bat's blood. 

"Ethan." James stirred the potion as directed.

"Nancy." Lily inspected her nails idly as she waited on James.

"Yolanda."

Lily burst out laughing. "_Yolanda_?" she asked in between giggles.

James grinned. "My third ex-girlfriend," he replied dreamily. "She was sweet and all, but there wasn't any chemistry."

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Whatever, my turn. Andrea."

The two were playing the Name Game, taught to Lily by James, who, coincidentally, was taught the game by Lily before she lost her memory.

"Annie." James began stirring the potion in the other direction.

"Ethel."

"Lily," James grinned.

"Yes?" Lily teased.

James didn't miss a beat. "Go to Ravenclaw party with me tonight,"

Lily glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "That was clever," she replied.

"I'm a clever guy," James replied cockily.

Lily raised both eyebrows and turned to look at him full on. "Clever _and_ cocky. You must be quite a catch," she appraised sarcastically.

"Only one way to find out," he said hopefully.

* * *

Bella grinned from where she stood behind Lily and James. The exchange was perfect, and now she could only hope Lily wouldn't screw this chance up. 

_Come on, Lily,_ she willed silently. _Take him up on his offer. Go to the party with him._

"Well," Lily hesitated. She seemed to be looking for approval and glanced quickly behind her. Dana nodded her head encouragingly as Bella mouthed, "Do it."

Lily sighed. "I guess," she said as James grinned, "But only if you promise me chocolate."

"Of course."

"_Lots_ of it."

"Anything you say," he promised, the smile on his face spreading ear-to-ear.

"And we have to dance."

"Absolutely," he assured.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Do you even know _how_ to dance?"

* * *

Arabella walked into her dormitory looking for Lily, and laughed out loud when she saw her friend sprawled across her bed. She was lying on her back with her head at the foot of her bed, a pillow covering her face. Her arms were dangling above her head and her left leg was off the bed, lazily kicking air. 

"Lily? What in God's name are you doing?"

"Thinking," was the muffled reply.

"Does it hurt?" Bella teased. Lily pulled the pillow off her face and threw it at the blonde, but it barely soared two feet from the bed.

She sighed. "I can't be bothered to move."

Bella frowned. "Is this about your date with James?"

"No. Yes. No. I don't know!" Lily wailed.

"What's the problem, Lil?" Bella asked, sitting down beside Lily.

"I don't know," she replied. "I just… feel weird about going out with him. I've been saying no for so long, you know?"

Bella nodded. "I know you have, but maybe it's about time you say yes, which you have. This is a good thing, I promise."

Lily sighed and kicked her leg, swinging it back and forth. "Since when are you so gung-ho on me going out with Potter? You hate him," she pointed out.

Bella smiled. It was a small one, and she turned her head so that Lily wouldn't see it. "Maybe he isn't as horrible as I thought."

Lily snorted. "Of course he is! He hexes people, he plays pranks, he never pays attention in class; what else could he be besides horrible?"

Bella let Lily's words hang in the air. After a few moments, she turned around and pulled her friend up to a sitting position. "Lily, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"As your friend, do I always have your best interests at heart?"

Lily blew air. "As my best friend, I'm hoping that you do."

"Then _trust me_ on this, Lily. I think going out with James is the best thing for you right now. You just don't see it yet."

Lily frowned. "How is it that you do?"

Bella smiled sadly. "I just do, Lily. I just do."

At that moment, Bella wished more than anything that her friend could see exactly why James was so right for her, but knew that all the wishing in the world wouldn't do her any good.

* * *

A knock at the door startled Lily and Arabella. Noting that she didn't want to move, Lily pushed her friend towards the door. She listened to Bella talk to a young girl, then heard the door close and Bella's footsteps moving back towards the bed. 

"It was that one first year, you know, the one with the frizzy brown mess on her head? She brought this note up for you and said it was from that 'hunky chaser with the bed head,' " Bella laughed. Lily joined her and held her hand out for the note.

_L,  
S said that you needed to study before the party, so we'll meet you and B in the Common Room at 9.  
Sound good?  
J_

Lily sat up and studied the parchment. Running her fingers over the messy scrawl, she frowned. There was something oddly familiar about his hand. Was it the way he dotted his i's with little slants rather than dots, or the way he abbreviated names with just their first letter?

Deciding not to dwell on it, Lily told Arabella the game plan, then grabbed her Charms book and dived into it's age-old pages.

* * *

**My longest chapter ever! What do you think? Like/hate? Review, please! And as always, TONS of thanks to Heather for betaing. I must admit, I was pretty annoying this time-- I kept changing the chapter on her :P Anyway, Kimberly's chapter next. I haven't talked to her in a while but... I don't know. We'll see.**

**Oh, by the way, from now on I think I'll do review responses in my livejournal. Check for the URL in my profile :) **


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